Sunday's Message

I really enjoyed the message at church on Sunday. Keith talked about how the message of Christianity is counter-cultural. I know that sounds like an obvious statement, but I'm going to explain with a little more detail.

In America we strive for independence, from financial independence to lifestyle independence. We always feel the need to do it on our own. If we can't make it on our own without leaning on anyone else then we are not successful in America. We want to be able to pull ourselves up by our boot straps. That is an anti-Christian mindset.

Following Jesus is admitting that you can't do it on your own. Following Jesus is realizing that you need help. I think this is where many of us in American Christian culture struggle. I have friends (and I'm not any different) that feel bad when they have to ask for help. I would much rather walk through the valley of the shadow of death with my friend than watch her walk through it on her own. I know that there is no way I prefer walking through a scary time by myself over walking through it with a friend.

The early church did life together. They ate together, shared time together, and took care of each other. When one of them had a need, then the group helped meet that need. Can you imagine if today's church was really like that? What a difference people would see in us if we really cared for each other, and not just for each other but for our neighbors next door and across the street. That statement, "They will know us by our love," is so true. It's based on what John writes in his first letter. If I live a life filled with Christ's love, that changes people and impacts people. Imagine if a whole home team did that, or if a whole church did that. That's where revival begins to happen. And I'm not talking church tent revival. I'm talking about lives in communities being changed, families being healed, needs being met, and hearts being mended. The members of that home team and the members of that church become the face of Jesus. When people start seeing who the real Jesus is, things happen. That's real revival.

I am so glad that this is part of Rockway's philosophy. I am so thankful that we emphasize community. I place a lot of value in authenticity, and I feel like we have that in my home team.

Anyway, I guess that is all. I have a lot to do and not much time to do it all. God is good. Can't wait to see what He has in store for our community.

Kyle

I must be married to the best guy in the world. Who else would take time out of his own day to come see a school program? That says a lot. God sure did pour out the blessings in my life when He put Kyle in it. We have fun. Life is good with him.

Alabama Football

Last night I watched the Alabama-LSU football game with Kyle, Joel, and Angela. It was great to spend time with my friends and family. The sad part was the game. I don't know if I can explain how much I love Alabama football. It is definitely a passion of mine. In fact tonight I pulled up some old Alabama football plays on YouTube. I know some would say that's lame, but that's just what I enjoy. I grew up watching games with my family. Maybe that's why I love the games so much. They mean more than just football. They mean years of hanging out with my dad and my brother and my uncles and cousins. (My mom was there too, but she doesn't get into it the same way.) I even remember the first time I ever prayed for Alabama to win a football game. It was the Arkansas game in 1993. I was at my grandparents' house. They were losing, but they had a chance to win towards the end. I went back to the "yellow room" and prayed the God would help them win. They lost.

I think even then, at the age of 13, I understood that God cared about the small things. Just because prayers aren't answered the way that we want them to be doesn't mean that they're not answered. I love it that I still remember that. God knows my heart. He knows that I loved Alabama football passionately at that age. He knew it was important to me, so it's good that I prayed about it.

God truly cares about me. God truly cares about my heart. God cares about the things that are important to me. It is pretty incredible to think that the God of the universe, the maker of the stars and the galaxies, the creator of all things beautiful, cares about me. I matter to Him.

As I've gotten older I still am very passionate about Alabama football, especially since I live in a different state now. But, I think that as I grow closer to God my heart changes. I still hope Alabama wins every single game. But, my heart is different now. I think about how passionate so many people in that stadium are for Alabama. I think about how everyone outside that stadium knows that there are exciting things going on because of all the screaming and yelling and cheering. Wouldn't it be great if we were that passionate about God? It would be incredible if I was so passionate about God that other people around me noticed. I don't know if my life screams Jesus.

I yell at the players when they don't do what I think they should do. I am so eager to point them in the right direction so they can score or hit the opposing player. In life there are people dying. We go to work and school with dying people. I need to care about their spiritual condition the way that I care about the running back dodging the lineman to run down the field and score.

Okay, so I've been writing this during the Dallas-Philly game, so I don't know if I've even made much sense. But, I did want to journal. God is good. He cares about me. He cares about people. I need to care about people the way that God does. This week I want to see people with God's eyes instead of my own. I want to hear the silent cries. I want to Jesus to be evident in my life.

My Two Cents

This has nothing to do with anything going on in my life. I just feel like ranting a little bit right now. It probably doesn't help that I'm on steroids for my hives, so my emotions are on a roller coaster. It doesn't matter, though. My opinion is not dependent on whether or not I'm happy or sad.

So, the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, Andy Reid, is under a lot of scrutiny right now. Two of his sons have been arrested for drug possession. I don't have all of the details. I just know the surface story. The thing that upsets me is the judge in this case. Montgomery County Judge Steven O'Neill said this was a "family in crisis." He also said that he didn't know if the boys should return home after their sentence was completed. He said, "There isn't any structure there that this court can depend on." Now, one could see why the judge would say this if the boys were teenagers. The parents were not providing a structured home environment to secure the safety and health of their children. This is not the case, however. These "boys" are 22 and 24 years old. They are adults. The parents at this point are not supposed to provide "structure" at home for their children. These young men are responsible for their own actions and responsible for providing their own structure at home. At this point in the lives of these young men, their parents can no longer be held responsible for the actions of their children.

I just feel like this judge knew that this was going to be a case that the public would be interested in. He knew that he would have the opportunity to be out in front of the nation with his rulings and his opinions. I do not feel like the judge was wise or ethical with his comments. In my opinion he abused his position. It just really burns me up to hear a comment like that.

Okay, there's my vent and my rant. I apologize. It just really made me mad to hear about this. I don't know Andy Reid. I don't even like the Philadelphia Eagles. But situations where people have been treated unfairly or unjustly burn me up.

I apologize if there are details about this case that I am unfamiliar with that would cause me to have a differing opinion. If you know something about it then please enlighten me.

Helping the Hurting

I wish that we were all willing to be helped and held when we are hurting and in need.

I wish that we never felt like we had to do life on our own.

I wish that culture didn't tell us that we have to be strong and independent in order to be successful.

I wish we didn't believe all of the lies culture tells us.

So, if you read this, then please reach out to the hurting. Also, if you are hurting, be willing to accept help from your friends. Let your friends love you. You don't have to do it on your own. You will never be able to do it on your own.

Christ is in me. I can't do it on my own. I can't help a friend on my own. But, if my friend needs someone to lean on, it is Christ in me that is strong. It is Christ in me that my friend can depend on. It is Christ in me that loves my friend through thick and thin. It is Christ in me.

Update--Just for Jennifer =)

I am feeling good tonight. We paid off the last of our credit card debt just a few hours ago. We are past Baby Step 1 and Baby Step 2 in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University! Woo hoo! I actually feel safe right now because we have a budget. I'm really excited to see the way that our finances look five to ten years from now. Sometimes during those classes I feel like an idiot because I don't always completely understand the details of investments and the ins and outs of insurance, but we're going to just keep plugging away and sticking to our course.

I actually was just looking in my Bible for a verse from our class that talks about that principle. I found a different one instead. Proverbs 16:9 says "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." I thought it was rather ironic that that is the verse I turned to. I have made many, many plans in my young twenty-seven years. I have always been a motivated planner. I'm not the best at keeping the plan completely organized, but I know the plan and I follow the rules. When I wanted to lose weight last year, I followed the rules and I lost twenty pounds. When I became pregnant I cut out the caffeine and the diet soda because that's the rule. I don't get traffic tickets because I follow the rules. Kyle and I are doing Dave Ramsey, and we follow all the rules. I am a great rule follower. Sometimes, though, my best laid plans and rules are not going to get the results that I want. That's sometimes a hard thing to realize. No matter how hard I try, sometimes I just can't do it on my own. In fact, I'm learning that I never can do it on my own. My plans, no matter how big and mighty, might not be the best plans. God's plans are the best plans. So, I may plan out my life (you know, get pregnant, have the baby right before TAKS testing, have maternity leave that goes straight into summer vacation), but God has a better plan.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that God wanted our baby to die. I'm just saying that God is going to use whatever happens in Kyle's life and my life to make his name known. Kyle and I may never have a baby. That might just be the plan. And please don't write off my musings as the ramblings of a negative person. I am just speaking truth. Kyle and I may have lots of babies (Heaven helps us!). We don't know. As much as I like to know the plan, as much as I like to follow the rules, there is a great beauty in letting go. There is a great freedom in knowing that I don't have to take on the burden. So, for right now, I'm going to sit back, talk to God, love His people, and enjoy the ride that is life. Sometimes you hear people tell the story about how your life is a tapestry being woven by God, and when you get to the end, you look back and see that even the difficult and seemingly ugly parts weave to form a beautiful picture. Maybe it's bigger than that. Maybe it's about how Kyle's life weaves into my life and my life weaves into someone else's and so on. Maybe it's one giant tapestry throughout mankind. Maybe God's trying to weave a tapestry to show how holy and awesome and powerful and mighty and great He is. Maybe this tapestry is a beautiful piece showing how God loves each of us, showing His pursuit of us. I don't know. I hope that my theology is not off. Kyle, if it is, then let me know. I want to think rightly about God.

Anyway, that was a long post. And Jennifer, it was for you. There's our discussion on the couch for today. I'll talk to you later on this week. =)

Back in the Workout Saddle

I went back to my workout class today at the Y. I didn't get to workout this past week just because of the hectic week we had, but I had been running and doing the elliptical machine before that for about a week and a half. I love the way excercise makes me feel. I always feel like I can beat up somebody or play a real sport when I get done. It just makes me feel good.

However, at the start of class today, I could see myself in the mirror. It just felt gross to see myself and think that I'm back to square one. I hate that feeling. It's just disheartening.