I had wanted to be pregnant this month. I had wanted to get pregnant in January so that I would be past the twelve week mark by the time my original due date came around. Momentarily, I thought that was going to happen.
Sometimes things don't go according to my plan. Well, a lot of times, things don't go according to my plan.
I have now experienced my second miscarriage. This one was not as far along as the other one. This one was only five to five and a half weeks. Another miscarriage was definitely not in my plan. The surprising thing is that I have not felt this peaceful and confident since September 26, which was the first miscarriage. I believe that there are so many people praying for me that there's no way I can fall. I know that there are many people praying that don't even know why they are praying for me. They just know there's a need, and they're responding to the Holy Spirit.
So, as I sit here telling the world about what's going on in my life, I know that there is more to this small blog than just my story. I know that my small story is intertwined with someone else's. God is a beautiful tapestry weaver. There is none like Him.
If you read this and feel sorry for Kyle and me, I ask you not to feel that way. I have shed tears, and I'm sure I'll shed more. But I also know that there is more to life than getting pregnant. As awesome as it may be to carry a child in the womb, I know that my calling is to glorify God with my whole life, full womb or empty womb.
Life can be a hard untraveled road to traverse. But sometimes when you come around a curve in that bumpy path there can be a beautiful display of God's creation. Sometimes the best plans are the ones that don't go just the way you planned them.
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4 comments:
I will definitely be praying for you, sweet friend. You are an inspiration to me.
Well..I don't always have a lot to say..at least much I have confidence in, but I wanted to share this with you. I read your blog on Sat and again today and I have been fearful for you as well. I read Psalm 126 in my bible study today and I have been praying these verses over you and Kyle. As Beth Moore said (with a little Lisa added), "I want (you and Kyle) to have what these verses promise. I want (you and Kyle) to know I'll (you'll) never endure a season of tears that can't turn into a harvest of joy." Much love, Lisa
Jessica I love you and I am so inspired by your bravery and complete reliance on God. I know that you know that God has a plan, but I can not even begin to fathom what you feel. I am continually praying for you and Kyle and missing you both. I think of you on my Tuesdays and Thursdays while I am teaching in the classroom and wonder what your classroom in like. I will continue to pray and wait on what God has for your life. Love Love Love you cousin!
Melissa
Sweet Jessica, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I know that there are no words that can bring you comfort, except the promises we find in Scripture. I'm so proud of your outlook--I can't imagine how difficult this must be for y'all.
We love you. We're grieving with you. We're here for you. We're praying for you.
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