a pretty bow

This weekend Kyle and I were able to go to Passion in Dallas. Initially I was not really looking forward to attending. I knew that I would be emotional with everything that has been going on. I also was fearful that I would be somewhat resentful towards God about the past few months. I was overwhelmingly surprised.

The worship was incredible, the messages were convicting and encouraging. That was definitely the best way for me to spend my weekend. Even though I was completely worn out at the end, I know that God did some great things in the lives of college students, and He renewed my hope.

Louie told a story about a girl who became a Christian and died just a couple of months later. He shared about a correspondence that he had established with this girl's father, who is not a Christian. He told us that we shouldn't expect a "bow" at the end of the weekend (like the dad was going to come out and pray for the event). I think that might be an example of real faith. I think real faith is believing in God and His goodness even when things are not going to be in pretty packages. It's so easy to quote Romans 8:28 to people who are struggling through awful and devastating things. But what if we don't ever see the good? What if we don't ever see the good behind a senseless tragedy? I don't think we will always find the good in every situation. There are some things that we will never understand. I think that's where faith comes in: believing that God is God and I am not and things don't have to be good for me to love Him and put my trust in Him. Anyone can have a faith in a God that wraps everything up in a pretty package. It's much harder to have faith when it seems like we've been handed a garbage can full of junk instead of a beautiful bow.

I don't want faith to be easy. Faith is something that we should wrestle with, something to work out with fear and trembling. If it was supposed to be easy then why would Jesus say that, "small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Why would he say that, "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me"? These are hard things to hear. Faith is challenging. If it was obvious, then it wouldn't be faith.