effort

Some days I love my job. This year it's been harder to say that. But some days, I absolutely LOVE it because there is no doubt that it's what I'm meant to do.

I have been tutoring students in small groups lately even more than normal. My co-teacher and I have figured out a way for us to each tutor for an hour and a half two days a week rather than just thirty minutes each. I tutor on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so today was my day to meet for intense small group instruction.

There is one girl in my class who consistently puts forth an effort. This girl is trying hard every time she walks in the classroom door, and she's excited to be there--for tutoring! How many children are actually excited that they have to be tutored? She comes in smiling and ready to put for an amazing effort to improve. Her mom actually told me at open house that her daughter doesn't like to read, but ever since she's been in my class she wants to read at home. It makes me feel incredible to know that she has been impacted this way. I honestly don't think it's anything I've truly done. I just try to communicate my love of reading to my whole entire class. I tell them about the books I'm reading and get excited about the books I'm going to read to them.

As I write about this girl, I can't help but think about my Jesus. I truly do love to read, and it's obvious to my students. I truly do love my Jesus, and I hope that it's just as obvious to my coworkers as my love for reading is to my students. But see, it's my job to teach the students to become better readers, to prepare them for adulthood. But it's an even greater call on my life to glorify God and have more people love Him and glorify Him. I don't know if I talk about Jesus to my friends the way that I talk about books to my students. I don't know if my eyes light up when I talk about the things that Jesus has done in my life, if I even talk about that enough to my friends.

Life is short. I know it's silly, but if you've read Kyle's blog you'll see this about me. I can be, well, a little cluttered. One of my biggest fears, honestly, is that I will die suddenly while my room is messy. Someone will come in to help Kyle out and see that I didn't pick up my laundry that day or put up my make-up or put away my blow dryer and hair straightener. Rather than worrying about things like that, I need to have a spiritual mindset about my friends. Not only is my life short, but their lives are short too. I'm not guaranteed tomorrow to be with my friend. Every day counts. Every smile, every tear, every kind word, every piece of gossip, every hug, everything matters. I make a huge effort every day to help my students love reading, to help my students prepare for life, to help my students pass TAKS. I just hope that I make more of an effort to be Jesus to the people around me. That's real life. That's eternal.