sometimes

Sometimes I can't help but think that I'm supposed to have a baby right now. I should have a baby with us when we go out to eat. When my cousin and her husband visit they should be playing with the baby. This vacation we should be taking the baby with us. For some reason it didn't happen, though. We may never know why.

I mentioned this to Kyle today. He said he just tries to suppress those feelings. I've definitely gotten better, but there are some days when I still have these types of thoughts. I think it would be wrong for me to completely forget about it. It would be like the baby never happened or mattered. I do think it's helped my mental clarity to take some time off from "trying." I'm not at the point where I feel like I can completely say I'm content with knowing that we may never have children of our own, but I think I'm getting there.

On another note, we leave for vacation in less than a week!! I'm so excited about spending time with my family. These beach trips are some of my favorite childhood memories, so I'm really excited to add more wonderful family times to my long list of great memories.

That's all for tonight. No incredibly deep thoughts. Just ramblings about my mental status. I'm sure it's just thrilling to read about...