Monday, October 1, 2007

Jump In

Today was my first day back to school since our miscarriage. God has blessed me with such an awesome team of teachers. They really look out for me. My partner teacher, Toni, took my kids for a good part of the day so I could catch up on plans and grades. They all took care of me today.

Yesterday I went to church. That was hard, but I made it through. I guess I never really expected something like this to happen, and then I also never expected it to be as hard as it is. Last night at home team we had the Lord's Supper. I couldn't help but think back to the last Lord's Supper I participated in. It was the night before I found out I was pregnant. I was actually really upset that night because I had really bad hives and no idea why. The articles I had read on the internet (of course an always reliable source) said that sometimes hives were the sign of infertility. So, I was really nervous that maybe I was infertile. That night Kyle and I actually prayed that we would give God control no matter what and that we would rejoice no matter what. The next day I took the pregnancy test, and it was positive. I am sure that the night before when we were praying God was smiling at us saying, "You just wait." So, last night when we took the Lord's Supper, I could honestly tell God that I know He has a plan, even though I have no idea what it is. I could honestly admit that God will take care of us and provide, even if we never have a baby.

I don't know what the future holds. I do know that I am called to minister to the kids in my classroom every day. I take joy in that. I love what I do. I know that I am called to minister to my fellow teachers, even though they are ministering to me right now. God has a great and mighty plan. I can't wait to see what He does in my life, in Kyle's life, and the lives of the people around us.

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